Venting and Pessimism

rainy gray bleh

Today is not a go-get-’em type of day. My mood seems to be matching the weather … rainy, cold, bleh. (“I don’t say bleh, bleh, bleh.”) I keep on having to rein in my pessimism and complaining. I know it won’t last forever, but it still isn’t fun.

It certainly doesn’t help with having to job search either. “Tell us why you’re the best person for this job.” Sigh, I don’t know … but I have bills to pay. “What are your strengths?” Right now? Quoting movies and wanting to wallow in a pint of triple chocolate chunk. “What are your weaknesses?” Where do I start? “Tell me about your design experience.” I know my way around the Adobe Creative Suite and I’ve been doing this since you’ve been in grade school. “Can you elaborate on your relevant work experience?” I could, but I don’t feel like it. “Tell me about your portfolio.” Can’t you just look at the pretty little pictures and give me a damned job?

As much as I want to give “smart” answers right now, snarkiness has no place in the job search market … at least not if I actually want a job. But you gotta work. I know, Ru Paul, but I don’t feel very glam right now. I feel like I can only manage just dragging my limbs through the muck of updating job board profiles and resumes, writing cover letters (oh joy!), shouting from the rooftops “Oh hey everyone! I’m jobless!”. (Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself!) Fuck you! (*gasp*) Yeah, I said it. Fuck you! I’m venting. I’m allowed that. I usually don’t curse (that much) and I tend to be more of a glass-half-full type of person. But I don’t wanna right now. I don’t wanna adult. (You feel better?) Yeah, a bit, thanks.

Venting is usually healthy. It prevents build-up and festering. Now I’m not saying to forget your filter when applying for a job or going in for an interview. Manners count too. Adulting is hard. And today it feels closer to a major pocket bread (Get it? Pita? P.I.T.A. Pain In The … you get it.)

My usual more optimistic self will return (and hopefully soon … tomorrow or the day after maybe?). But for now, I’m not one for too much sunshine. I just have to get through this crap. A little light of hope right now is this quote …

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Winston Churchill

1 thought on “Venting and Pessimism”

  1. I hope you find a job soon. I know how it feels to be jobless. It’s not really fun when you know you need to pay the bills. We need more sunny days than rainy, gloomy days, dontcha think? Sending positive juju’s your way.

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